Today on Smegwatch:

The first member of a new hybrid species was born early Friday morning. The incident began several months ago when a common house cat strayed into one of the primate cages at the Fuckoff Zoo, located in Queensland, Australia. After repeated forced intercourse from one the cage's inhabitants, the cat was pregnated. "This is truly a new step into the future of zoology," claims a random zookeeper who tried to rape the cameraman. The new species has been named Monkat, or wtfbbqus barrelrollius by "official" scientests. "In the future, we plan to crossbreed mosquitos with giraffes, alligators with parrots, and donkeys with elephants," stated the owner of the zoo, whowas unable to give her name because she was to busy extracting semen from a dead rhino.